@NYC_Blonde: I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed
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@DaddyJew: Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for
@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.
@daemonic3: JESUS: [walks on water] JUDAS: Actually, the body is 60% water so it's only 40% miracle JESUS: You're killing me, Judas JUDAS: Actually..