@NYC_Blonde: I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed
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@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
@MarcusTheToken: At this wedding, the DJ played The Black Eyed Peas, everyone left the dance floor. I like these people.
@DeepDarkFear: BEARD PROGRESSION: 1. Clean shaven babyface. 2. Cool stubble. 3. Rugged. 4. Homeless man. 5. Psycho killer. 6. Religious nutjob. 7. Wizard.
@longwall26: Just a reminder that your coworkers aren't going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.