@NowYouSeeHer: I only speak Spanish when bill collectors call
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@Not_DeeAnn: First thing heard on the news: "You're gonna be wet by this time tomorrow morning". Kinda looking forward to Tuesday now
@carlyken: Whoa I'm floating! Am I...dead? "No it's a dream" What a relief! Wait. Who said that? Grim Reaper: (mutters) shit Uh nobody go back to sleep
@_NTFG_: People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.
@TheToddWilliams: [sideline] QB: Do you think I should go for it? COACH: I say go for it [huddle] CENTER: So? QB: Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?