@JermHimselfish: I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience.
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@TheCatWhisprer: On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up.
@osigat: When I go out in public with my brother; people think he is my boyfriend, which is crazy because we broke up over 12 years ago.
@iamopeimu: My Ex works in a pharmacy,so whenever i want to spoil her mood I wil just go there and buy condom for no reason sometimes i go 3 times a day