@JimmerThatisAll: I only studied genetics so I would know who to blame.
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@Maui_Speaks: Dear person who just turned in your resume with no name or phone number. You didn't get the job.
@KalvinMacleod: [me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?
@Tommytoughstuff: IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife.