@JimmerThatisAll: I only studied genetics so I would know who to blame.
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@pmclellan: So my drug dealer just died. I'm thinking about going to his funeral to, you know, network.
@StellaRtwot: Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols. I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle.
@murrman5: *holds up 2 ties* which one, I have a big meeting today "both are nice" [wife calls later] "how'd it go" well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster
@ohpegah: [playing with a Ouija board with my dog] Board: B A L L Me: I know that's you moving it! Stop! Board: T R E A T S