@FloodyHippie: I only wear dresses on sad occasions, like funerals and weddings.
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@snmrrw: Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the "Ras" and slipping back into Russian politics.
@ClichedOut: Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Incredible Hulk: Int: Hulk: Is that a trick question?
@Underchilde: Therapist: Do you have any regrets? Me: Well, this one time— Therapist [pinches bridge of nose] Other than buying fat-free salad dressing.
@HeyZeus666: My boss thinks being gay is a disease so I called in queer this morning. But I reassured him that I should be straight again by tomorrow.