@eileencurtright: I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw.
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@GabbbarSingh: If only Lord Ram used Apple maps to reach Ayodhya, Beijing would have been celebrating Diwali today.
@DaHess1: I told my dentist I wanted whiter teeth so he named them all Bryce and moved them to a gated community.
@Reverend_Scott: Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am.