@Naggalie: I ordered a coffee and the barista asked what size. I told her size didn't matter. We laughed. Then she gave me an extra large coffee.
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@Jayson_Two_time: Pro Tip for the ladies. Ask him to show you where the "jack thingy" is at in the trunk and when he shows you.. That's when you push him in.
@bad_as_you_want: Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course
@thatdutchperson: [Person who spends 20 hours per week in the gym] "The trick is to drink 8 glasses of water a day."
@liv_thatsme: Me: Saw your bf today "Where?" M: What's the name of that gym next door to the gay bar? "Golds?" M: Yeah, in the gay bar next to Golds