@KenJennings: I ordered a red ottoman online yesterday and now all my self-aware sidebar ads are a never-ending David Lynch fever dream of red ottomans.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mindless4Miles: Before seeing why your toddler has been quiet for 10 mins it's best to first call the plumber and write your apology letter to the landlord.
@TheWeirdWorld: One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, “Samsung has had this feature for years”.
@AngelaEhh: My tall sister took the vodka out of the cupboards above the fridge. I always thought those doors were just there for decoration.