@CakeThrottle: I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow
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@eeethanford: *Stubs cigarette out in palm to look tough* *waits till everyone leaves* *takes out cell phone* Hello 911? Please send all your ambulances
@BookisherBunny: When life hands you a komodo dragon suddenly the times you got lemons seem pretty cool.
@naughty_aditi: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?