@CakeThrottle: I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow
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@copymama: Parenting is like being a dive bartender: people shout drink orders, you have to listen to their problems, and the place looks like a dump.
@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.
@RidiculousSheri: Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS