@OldSpookMan: I overheard my daughter asking the little boy next door, "Are you the opposite sex, or am I."
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@DanMentos: judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence
@GuyThe_Guy: "Is there a Mr. Fields?" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine.