@OldSpookMan: I overheard my daughter asking the little boy next door, "Are you the opposite sex, or am I."
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@longwall26: I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
@ColorMeScradd: MAN!! My boss is always all "Blah blah blah!", "You're late!", and "Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"
@ch000ch: got bored and went to Home Depot wearing an orange apron to see how good i am at making up answers to peoples home repair questions
@EndhooS: Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX