@Eric_Bader: I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged.
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@sucittaM: Ask someone if they'll watch your bag for you but never actually leave just sit there and watch your bag together with your new friend.
@PussycatPlace: A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, Doc, I’m horribly sick! The doctor looks at her and asks, flu? No, I drove here.
@StansaidAirport: The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French.
@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.