@MartaEffing: I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot.
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@KyleMcDowell86: Judge: You're out of order! Lawyer: This whole court room is out of order! *I burst in* Me: THE VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY IS OUT OF ORDER
@KrazykurtKurt: If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again
@MsSkarsgaard: I miss the things we shared together. Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool.
@WordsOfaHooker: Can't believe the Obama 2012 campaign isn't using the slogan "Once you go black, you don't go back."