@HarryRamble: I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Child twister: "I can't tear up that farmhouse, Dad" Dad twister: "Come on son – we're Kansas tornadoes, not Kan'tsas tornadoesn'ts"
@internetluke: [last supper] Jesus (to Judas): so your facebook status said you were anxious? Anything u wanted to say Judas (sweating): no not really