@LostCatDog: I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances.
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@BoogTweets: Me: Take this My Uber passenger: *holds gun in blood soaked car* WTF JUS HAPPENED? Me: You tell me "Mr Finger prints on a murder weapon"
@Thynebear: [Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*
@Tmoney68: Friend: You thinking what I'm thinking? Me: It's bullshit there weren't schools from other continents in the Triwizard Tournament? F: ....