@primawesome: I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat.
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@the_moonface: Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking.
@sirmunchie: JUST ONCE MORE! PLEEEEEEASE? I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME! LET ME DO IT AND I'LL NEVER ASK AGAIN! -Liam Neeson pitching "Taken 3"
@TheBoydP: Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!
@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.