@moxieblogger: I pet my dog and she started to purr. Thought I should lay off the drugs until I realized the cat was sitting behind her.
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@MarfSalvador: Him: This is the best sand castle I've ever built! Her: We're gonna die in this desert aren't we?
@Fickle_Filly: It wouldn't be appropriate for me to comment further but that's not going to stop me.
@Shock_Monster: My dream job? That's easy: Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone. That's Old School Twitter.