@lawking30: I photobombed my pal's passport photo & now they won't let him through customs unless I'm behind him waving my hands in the air like a putz.
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@WildeThingy: Video Games made me do it. Rock n' Roll made me do it. Witches made me do it. Satan made me do it. - a short history of responsibility
@jake_lach: Apparently, if she's refused to speak to you for two days your text should not be 'Why are you mad again?'
@nickcreelman: Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.
@p_net: Her: Describe your ideal date. Me: I'd order an extra large pizza. Her: Interesting. What would I be wearing? Me: Oh, you'd be there, too?