@TaintUrBalls: I pick up hitchhikers cause then when I'm pulled over the weed is his.
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@sad_tree: [After Big Jewel Heist] "We did it! We got away! Everything went to plan" ME(holding my grappling hook I didn't get to use): Yea it was ok
@illTortuga: I asked my Ouija board when I was going to get a girlfriend and it spelled out HAHAHAHAHA until it caught fire.
@MalcInYourWife: So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say.