@jjhartinger: I picked up an ice cream cake & the cashier said keep it in the freezer until serving so it doesn't melt. I've got to start dressing smarter
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@daemonic3: [grocery shopping] "Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS
@smithsara79: FRIEND: so how are you? ME: I'm well, thanks! FRIEND: what's new? ME: not much! FRIEND: well, what have you been up to? ME: why are you doing this to me
@ewfeez: If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say "I've gotta take this" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested.