@KKAlThani: I pity those who feel the need to brag about themselves to get people's attention. I hate them more than the scratch on my Lamborghini.
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@SoVeryBritish: Neighbour chat: “Alright?” “Not bad, thanks, you?” “Yeah not bad!” “Haha, see you later!” Then into the safety of your car, to wonder why you laughed so much for no reason
@trayofcheese: Travel tip: If you’re gonna have a double Bloody Mary at the airport, remember to bring $17,000.
@moooooog35: One time I brought my kids to work with me and now my boss is way more tolerant of my drinking.