@ilovepie84: I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
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@Cheeseboy22: Just purchased one of those wigs that lawyers in England wear to put on when I have an argument with my wife.
@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.