@michowl: I pointed to hub's hearing aid and said is that thing on? He said "yes, I am just trying to figure out what the hell you are saying"
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@Dustinkcouch: Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny.
@3_arbutus: There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
@AristotlesNZ: Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.
@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with