@EricGoldie: I politely asked a woman on my flight if she could put her kid in the overhead compartment & she looked at me like I was crazy or something.
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@ItsAndyRyan: A thief has removed all the motorway signs in Yorkshire. Police are currently trying to find Leeds.
@myonlymizztake: Did you guys know you get a full body massage while being embalmed? I can't wait.
@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
@envydatropic: *Switches between 4 different news channels for an hour* Has literally no idea what's going on in the world