@JennyJohnsonHi5: I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.
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@Sammy_Sega: BAD: When your date has been in the Men's Room for 45 mins. WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says "he's not coming back"
@lloydrang: If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you.
@BuckyIsotope: *spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* "Just take off the mittens" MY HANDS ARE COLD