@BrettDruck: I posted "I did it!!!" to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing.
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@neiltyson: There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who divide everybody into two kinds of people, and those who don't.
@baconacid: "weed is a gateway drug" "to what? the fridge? Hahaha" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*