@BrettDruck: I posted "I did it!!!" to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing.
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@aneesa_p: *eats a bag of chips* *eats 2 baked potatoes* *eats a plate of fries* *eats a plate of mashed potatoes* Being a vegetarian is easy!
@dulcetry: This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit.
@Sally5977: If you’re wondering at what age you’ll stop messing up your life know that it’s not 40 and apparently not 50 either.