@myles_morrison: I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.
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@markedly: ME: This man's robbing me COP: No he's not M: He was doing it a second ago *puts robber's hand on wallet* come on why aren't you robbing now
@HeavyRaines17: Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely.
@Ygrene: Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this