@_eric_alexander: I predict that in the year 2050 the only people who will have tramp stamps will be grandmas. Thus they will be referred to as granny stamps.
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@UncleDuke1969: Cardinal: Ordinations are down Pope: Maybe a recruiting poster? C: Slogan? P: "We separate the men from the boys!" C: Um... Any other ideas?
@david8hughes: Mechanic: that's gonna cost $2000 Me: how much? Mechanic: $3000 Me: what did you say before that Mechanic: I said "that's gonna cost"
@darksidedeb: [first date] Him: I used to have a lazy eye but I had corrective surgery. Me [trying to impress]: My entire body's lazy.
@EndhooS: "What would be your main strength?" Well, I can communicate with animals... "Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses?" They can't understand me.