@_eric_alexander: I predict that in the year 2050 the only people who will have tramp stamps will be grandmas. Thus they will be referred to as granny stamps.
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@jake_lach: My dealer texts to ask if I'm straight and I'm not even sure how that's relevant to our arrangement
@Elizasoul80: Winnie the Pooh is an addict who doesn't wear pants and lives in the woods. If he were a person, he'd be the first suspect in every crime.
@RexHuppke: Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: "Still not sure if we like it, tbh."
@faungirl123: Ladies with "finger in their mouth" avis, what's on your finger? Cake batter? Is it cake batter? Can I have some?