@mydmac: I prefer to date a man after I see how well he treats his wife.
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@withanewname: "Five year plan?" [shuffles papers] ...written down here somewhere ... Ahh, here it is, lemme clean the cheese off this Mcmuffin wrapper
@timdonakowski: If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they'd put cocaine back in their recipe.
@tchrquotes: Every atom in your body is born in a star, traveled millions of light years, & through an amazing process became you. & you watch Teen Mom.
@blade_funner: 1997: *waits 5 minutes for dial-up internet connection* 2017: MY CAR'S VOICE DOES NOT PLEASE ME