@envydatropic: I print everything at work because I'm not a multimillionaire who has a printer with ink at home
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@MatCro: [break-in] BURGLAR: [cracks safe] COP: Not so fast, kiddo BURGLAR: [cracks safe more slowly]
@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.
@MissMalbec: - Are you upset? Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... - No.
@ThingsJackDigs: Chainsaws: because "The Texas Weed-whacker Massacre" just wasn't scary enough
@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.
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