@envydatropic: I print everything at work because I'm not a multimillionaire who has a printer with ink at home
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@jake_likes_naps: [gets down on 1 knee] Babe will you-- "Yeah... Here it is" [she lends me her phone charger] Thanks
@thebeckyard: Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors.
@badbanana: If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
@putyoursisterd1: I had my house renamed "Moderation" and now I can pretty much do whatever I want in here.