@Brianhopecomedy: I probably should've said, "Congrats on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom".
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@_PatDonovan: I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)
@vexroid: I may not be book smart or street smart and I may not have much common sense and I'm really not sure where I was going with this.
@KingRainhead: boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!
@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.