@PresidentGrimes: I promise to find a new girlfriend right away when my old girlfriend gets eaten by walkers.
America needs a first lady.
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@KeetPotato: [optimus prime chasing his gf to the front door] but i can change
@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
@trevso_electric: "Aww. You guys... And it's not even my real birthday! #flattered ." -Jesus
@Reverend_Scott: [sees cute girl jog by] "Imma run up and ask her out" [one block later still not caught up] "Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"
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