@YUCKYBOT: You know what they say? Once you go white, you'll rob the world of it's resources and murder indigenous peoples.

@neiltyson: QUESTION: What were the very first straws made of? ANSWER: Straw.

@Tommytoughstuff: [Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey "poor choice of words" Stevens] Joey: "I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."

@Shock_Monster: The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.

@TravLeBlanc: Women aren't that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.