@sarahjoyshockey: I pulled a hamstring and a pig fell from the ceiling and gave me a hug
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@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@MarieColette: Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime.
@1Happytwit: Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated.