@sarahjoyshockey: I pulled a hamstring and a pig fell from the ceiling and gave me a hug
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@JohnLyonTweets: Thanks for telling me this is your "pet cat" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat.
@BuckyIsotope: [stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD
@iRowlf: A haunted house that has a room where a bunch of women ask you "Notice anything different about my hair?"
@WheelTod: Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills.