@Ameiam: I pulled a muscle turning over in bed. Cause that's how I roll.
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@JonnyStallone: Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.
@PhuckinCody: "so i had the dream again last night," priest: *sighs* again, dreaming about sleeping with the green m&m is not a sin. weird, but not a sin
@Kim_pulsive: My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it
@3sunzzz: Teacher: Bob, how do you make a nail plural? Dumb Bob: You add S. T: *amazed* Yes! Come up to the board and show us. DB: [writes] SNAIL