@AGStr8upNinja: I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.
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@imdaintyaf: When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies.
@WineMummy: Sorry I had sex with your hot gardener, but in my defense, you did say that I needed Jesus in me.
@warmyellowlight: me: *buys condoms, tampons, lice shampoo, adult diapers, yeast infection cream, an enema and a pregnancy test* cashier: would u like a bag