@ilovepie84: I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said "I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"
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@IamEnidColeslaw: HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary.
@kumailn: You think Japanese teenagers are shocked the first time they see a real live naked woman & it's not all pixelated looking down there?
@RealSugarFree: In a misguided attempt to become a superhero I let a spider bite me. My super power became crying louder than a newborn.