@Robinbuble: I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now.
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@KattsDogma: If I owned a Brazilian waxing joint, I'd call it Pubic's Cube or The Razor's Edge or Hedging Your Bets or Getting a Leg Up or Bush League or
@ninatreemonkey: Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich
@ThisOneSayz: Unlike in Westworld, "freeze all motor functions" does not stop my 3yo from trying to wash my phone in the toilet.