@Robinbuble: I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now.
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@Social_Mime: Doing word problems as a kid as helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn't have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
@BlindVigil: Here's my ONLY problem with Evolution: When the chocolate chip evolved, how did the raisin not go extinct?
@beerfartchamp: I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?