@chopper4jk: I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats.
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@murrman5: we lost our power "why?" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* "that's awes-" it's not as cool as it sounds
@iQuoteComedy: That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep.
@jazmasta: "That'll be $15.99 please" "Do you take giant revolving badgers?" *cashier grabs me by the throat* "We ONLY take giant revolving badgers"