@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FO_ASchatz: I just pressed the Popcorn setting on my microwave and it showed me secret spy video of Kellyanne Conway eating lunch.
@MelvinofYork: My wife says "Don't walk away when I'm talking to you" when 1. she's not talking, she's yelling, and 2. I'm not walking away, I'm retreating
@DurtMcHurtt: Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously.
@IamEveryDayPpl: Prius and Smart Car owners in my neighborhood got together and banned leaf blowers for safety reasons...