@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me
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@JB4Realz: "Y'ever wonder why the TARDIS is square on the outside but round on the inside?" *SuperCuts lady finishes my haircut without another word*
@GreenishDuck: People with little chains that go from a nose piercing to an earring probably just got sick of losing their ears.
@jordan_stratton: [Walks up to stranger] Me: "Excuse me, would you take my picture?" Him: "Sure." Me: "Great!" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]
@Sassafrantz: [Ghost Hunters] This ghost is a male, probably in his 40's -how'd u figure that out? He went bat shit crazy when we turned the thermostat up