@moooooog35: I put JIF Peanut butter in the mousetraps and although I didn't catch any mice I did manage to snag 3 choosy mothers.
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@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.
@TheRobCee: [Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] "Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."
@shadygeekdad: My father in law is one of those "deep sigh until someone asks what's wrong" kind of women.