@DonKinderknecht: I put my baby on the baby changing station in the bathroom and when I was done, it was the same baby. :-(
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@Fred_Delicious: "son, I've had to throw my golf socks out" "Why dad? cos you got... A HOLE IN ONE? HAHA" "No son. I killed a man. They're covered in blood"
@jenstatsky: FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
@The_Sculptress: The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee.
@BriarSly: Question: If a King runs a Kingdom...& an Emperor runs an Empire... Who runs a country?