@gavinpivott: "I put my gear back in fourth." - Willow Smith learning to drive, maybe.
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@robfee: Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
@Madame_Royale: I'm in so much trouble. My twitter crush found out about my boyfriend and now they're both on their way to tell my husbands.
@Dutch_50: When the cleaning lady say's "Have a good night", I try to time it so we say it in unison. Then I say our "You too" response in harmony.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."