@ibid78: I put my pants on just like everyone else. With the help of my twelve most trusted cats.
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@AddTequila: Whenever I meet a girl with tattoos, I get excited. Because I know she's legal and willing to do stuff she may regret.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I'm gonna be in trouble when my kids are older and realize how much of my parenting advice is just Kenny Rogers lyrics.
@protolalia: It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again.