@jabba_jabba_jaw: I put my pants on like anyone else. By court ordered mandate.
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@JesKeepSwimming: Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten "people" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule.
@sixfootcandy: How to get out of jury duty: When they read the charges, no matter what they are, yell out "Oh come on. Even I've done THAT!"
@QwertyJones3: "Mr. Trump how will you beat Hillary Clinton?" TRUMP: I'll win NY, Florida, Ohio, we're going to add states, Gerzona, Timbaland, Waterworld