@WGladstone: I put my pants on like everyone else: with difficulty, blaming the dryer for shrinking them.
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@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"
@SamuelHLowe: - 911,what's your emergency? - I'm out of beer! - That's no emergency. - Chest pain? - We'll send an ambulance. - Make sure they bring beer.
@sammyrhodes: Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.