@SondraDeeMe: I put my shoes on like everyone else. I beckon for my footman, Chauncey, and he does it straightaway. Your guy probably has a different name
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@SuperRandomish: Fun prank: Just leave random "I'm sorry I hit your car" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent.
@ProdigyNelson: *girl calls me daddy* *hammer appears in my hand* "oh no" *I start building a deck* "what have you done" *grill turns itself on*
@CulturedRuffian: When one door closes, another one opens which is also one of the first signs you probably have a poltergeist.
@HallpassCanada: Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape.