@Bownuggets: I put my slacks on just like everyone else, from a waterslide into the loving yet frighteningly powerful arms of my pet minotaur Ferdinand
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@Not_From_Troy: Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself "What would Jesus do?" then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren't brilliant
@Gowitty: Evening News is where they begin with 'Good Evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
@jennalynn518: Whenever a bill collector calls I just give the phone to my toddler and tell her it's Barney.