@angeliav68: I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?
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@RWaddell86: If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen.
@jwoodham: "How dare you accuse us of cheating?" said the Patriots, struggling to get a jersey on the giant robot tiger that Katy Perry rode in on.
@zachheltzel: Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its millions of fans insist you just don't understand.
@Travis_Lemire: Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.