@angeliav68: I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Donna_McCoy: You don't need Crossfit if you have to get to the mailbox and back whilst avoiding mosquitoes the size of chihuahuas.
@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.
@BoogTweets: (Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!
@thetigersez: How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them? Like, did you ask him? Because only one of us is screaming right now.