@angeliav68: I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?
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@panmidwest: I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him
@Donna_McCoy: It's my patriotic duty to eat bbq and wave sparklers this weekend. Don't wreck it with words like "calorie count" and "hair on fire".
@abhorrent_wife: I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term "all caps".
@Ideal_Victoria: Don't just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair