@CulturedRuffian: I put some doughnuts, ice cream, and snickers bars in my blender for dessert tonight, so yeah-I juice.
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@junejuly12: *plans eclipse viewing party* *buys special glasses* *gets plenty of snacks and drinks* *wakes up to pouring rain* *goes back to sleep*
@Proxic0n: EXPLORER: so we found all this new land KING: Sweet What did you name it? E: Newfoundland K[rubbing bridge of nose]: Guards, execute him
@Bizarro_Mark: My parents haven't called with a computer problem in 48 hours. I'm sending my brother over there to check on them.
@Bottle_of_Death: *Reads your tweets, vomits into a bucket, mails bucket to you*- see what you made me do?