@VerifiedDrunk: I put the 'fun' in functional alcoholic.
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@ibid78: DISPATCH: we have a report of a robbery in progress four blocks from your current location HOT AIR BALLOON COP: I'll be there in 80 days
@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."
@waydybee: whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, "oh, this is the one u were talking about" &watch the awkward stares!