@VerifiedDrunk: I put the 'fun' in functional alcoholic.
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@KenJennings: Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell "definitely."
@mugkip: i've always struggled spelling out "blood" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like "bbool"
@crunchenhancer: I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
@celebrityhottub: I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"