@xanmurai: i put the ":/" in "http://".
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@thereverendcink: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
@CrackYouWhip: My workout schedule: 1. Run half mile 2. 10 reps of 5 lb. hand weights 3. 35 year break 4. Protein shake 5. Repeat
@HousewifeOfHell: My kid's latest report card looks like someone with a stutter is trying to swear.
@SamTR7: *Superman put glasses on Mt. Rushmore faces* Lois Lane: "What the heck?? Who are those people up there?"